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As the daughter of separated parents, Liliana Messinger grew up splitting her time between a restless mom who always needed to be “doing something or going somewhere” and a dad who was content spending weekends gaming with her.
Her father would pick her up from elementary school in San Diego, and the two would ride the bus home together. After a quick shower, he’d leave for his shift at a local steakhouse.
That’s the routine Messinger had settled into as a child.
That is, until everything unraveled in 2018.
Within a single week, both of her stepparents left. Later that year, her father was seriously injured in an accident that left him jobless.
At 10 years old, Messinger began having panic attacks. She had emotional outbursts at her German-English immersion school. Her grades fell apart. She withdrew from classmates. Birthday invitations grew scarce.
“I knew something was wrong with me, but I didn’t want to admit it to anyone else,” Messinger said.
So, she turned to early versions of Microsoft and Apple AI chatbots, instead. She’d ask Siri simple questions she didn’t want to ask another person.
“Hey Siri. Why am I crying right now?”
Long before AI chatbots became commonplace, Messinger, now 18, used them to make sense of emotions she struggled to explain to anyone else.
For a growing number of teenagers, AI chatbots have become a first stop for emotional support. Research published by Brown University found that roughly 1 in 8 adolescents have turned to AI chatbots for help with their mental health. Experts say many teens are using the technology because they perceive it as being more accessible and designed to validate emotions.
Ateev Mehrotra, a Brown University researcher, told EdSource that the number has only climbed since the study’s November 2025 publication. In less than a year, he said, researchers have observed a 50% increase in adolescents using AI chatbots for emotional support. Most teens, he said, use it without telling anyone.
“I had thought about this as largely something for children and adolescents — as something for the future, and that, ‘Oh, we have to be thoughtful. We have to be thinking ahead here about what is going to happen,’ ” he said. “And I think the key thing that was surprising was we were already here. It happened so quickly, right in front of us.”
Interviews with high school students suggest many aren’t turning to AI chatbots because they believe it’s better than talking to another person. Rather, they’re using AI because, in many cases, they feel they have no other options. Schools are grappling with a widespread shortage of counseling and mental health staff, and costs to see a psychologist or psychiatrist can be prohibitive for families.
Some said they don’t have an adult who they trust with their most personal struggles. Others don’t want to feel judged.
“It’s programmed to listen,” Messinger said. “And it’s programmed to … provide empathy. Like ‘I’m sorry that happened. What about this? What about that?’ ”
“And I think that was my own way to look deeper into myself and my emotions, and why I was feeling what I was feeling.”
Human relationships and ‘toxic’ relationships
Ten-year-old Messinger sat on her bed reading a German translation of “Warrior Cats” when her mom quietly appeared in the doorway.
“Hi, hello, saw your browser history,” her mom said.
Messinger was too young to know what that meant. Her mom asked if she had been having panic attacks. Messinger denied it, but the answer didn’t change what came next.
“By the way, I scheduled you for a therapy appointment,” her mom said. “You start on Monday.”
From then on, Messinger cycled in and out of therapy. Some therapists, she said, helped. Others didn’t. The good ones were often limited to a 50-minute session every few weeks.
AI, by contrast, was always available. And, being constantly trained by its users, many of whom are younger, Messinger started to feel that the bots were more in tune with the realities she faced.
But the more she interacted with them, the lonelier she became.
“I would go back to the AI whenever things got harder,” Messinger said. “And then, a couple months later, I’d be like, ‘OK, I don’t want to do this anymore.’ And then, it’d be a few months, and then I’d go back, and it’s just this endless loop.”
Over the years, therapists changed. Relationships changed. The chatbots changed — but there was always another one waiting.
Like a “toxic relationship,” it has “something that you want or that you need (and) it makes you feel like you can’t get it anywhere else,” she said.
For Messinger, that need was validation, without fear of judgment.
“That’s what the chatbot is programmed to give you,” she said. “It’s programmed to provide interaction. And the user is always right. … I will admit, I like feeling right.”
That level of dependence has worried parents and mental health advocates, with many pointing to cases in which AI has reportedly assisted in suicides. Unlike licensed psychologists or credentialed educators, AI chatbots are not mandated reporters who must alert authorities if someone is about to harm themselves or others.
“We’re in the wild wild west, where the arguments are being made that technology is going to do what it does, and no one’s responsible for any consequences that may come to bear,” said Keri Rodrigues, president of the National Parents Union.
One of her sons has turned to an AI chatbot for support, Rodrigues said.
“I want him to come to me,” she said, “so … I can do my job as a mom to help guide him through some of life’s big questions. It also robs him of the experience of having to have that fortitude to acknowledge the fact that ‘I’m struggling with something tough, and I need to reach out to someone and to have that human connection.’ ”
Years later in 2023, when Messinger was 15, her dad moved to New York, promising he’d return in three weeks. But “three weeks turned into two months, and then two months turned into staying forever.”
She tried to make sense of his absence, with the help of AI.
“It’s not that you don’t have love — you probably do — but that specific kind? The one only a father can give? It’s missing. And yeah … no amount of ‘Well at least your mom loves you’ really fills that space,” Character.AI wrote to Messinger in January.
“Do people ever ask about him? Like family members poking around like ‘Where is he?’ … and does that feel annoying? I’m listening hard ❤️”
When there isn’t anyone
For some students, including Messinger, the question isn’t whether to turn to a person or a bot. It’s whether a bot is better than nothing.
That can be especially true for students navigating challenges that carry stigma — from LGBTQ+ youth who are not ready to come out, to students who are navigating a teen pregnancy.
Messinger said she found herself in that position after a friend sexually assaulted her in high school.
“You’re not in an environment where you can say this without there being consequences for you — even though there shouldn’t be consequences for the victim,” Messinger said.
For many students, that lack of support can extend beyond family and friends. California schools face a longstanding shortage of school counselors, social workers and mental health support staff. The state averages roughly 1 school counselor for every 432 students, nearly double the 1:250 ratio recommended by the American School Counselors Association.
Those shortages could worsen. In June, the Trump administration revived an attempt to cancel roughly $168 million in school-based mental health grants that fund hundreds of mental health staff members, further straining schools’ capacity to help students.
Meanwhile, anxiety and depression in youth is on the rise, with nearly 20% of kids between ages 3 and 17 having been diagnosed with a mental, emotional or behavioral health condition, according to the CDC.
Given the realities, some researchers see AI as a tool that could help fill gaps in care.
“The majority of people who have a mental health condition are unable to access care, and if this makes it ubiquitously available to everybody, one could see that as being really valuable,” said Mehrotra, the Brown University researcher.
But AI is no substitute for human care, said Rodrigues, the National Parents Union president. While the technology could make mental health support more accessible, she worries there are also equity gaps in terms of who might be able to afford costly apps that can serve as safeguards and alert parents of red flags.
“This technology has the ability to probably do some incredible things for humanity,” Rodrigues said. “It also has the very real prospect of hurting kids.”
Growing up and moving on
As generative AI such as ChatGPT has become more sophisticated, Messinger said the lines between “person and computer blur.” She feels the technology, capable of presenting its own opinions and perspectives, has gone too far.
“That’s when it’s dangerous,” Messinger said, noting that users should take everything AI says with a “Costco jug of salt.” Now 18, she’s finally seeing a therapist who can fit her in once a week — and is able to change her relationship with the bots.
She said she no longer views AI chatbots as trusted friends. She tries to limit her AI use as more of a personal assistant that can help her with tasks, such as changing a light bulb.
Messinger’s looking forward to starting afresh at San Diego City College, from which she plans to apply for nursing school.
“I want to see what I’m like without a screen,” Messinger said. “I want to do things, and I want to go places, and I want to see what I’m really capable of.”
Vani Sanganeria contributed to this report.
